At the rate that everyone is scrutinizing their go-s, grow-s and glow-s, nothing in the food world is a secret anymore—or is there? JUICE.PH leaves your taste buds tingling in the dietary light, with all-new chizwhiz on popular bogchi phrases.

By Andro Cipriano

Free Range: Who let the animals out?!

With the five-star treatment that is free-range, the entire animal farm can only be too pleased. Of course, the pampering differs for each country, with pregnant sows in the UK receiving maternity benefits, European turkeys tread-milling on unlimited daytime runs, and Philippine chickens savoring detoxifying lemongrass. Free-range redefines animal love by protecting poultry’s right to forage—or at least, for those fortunate enough to graze on EU pastures. The European Union has strict regulations which Old MacDonalds have to follow; several of which include: hens having continuous access to 500 meter (give or take) open day-time runs, with each hen receiving 4 square meters at all times!  

Unlike their European counterparts, food authorities from Uncle Sam use the term liberally as poultry raised in the open—without any real specifications on duration or range that the animals have access to the outside world. For non-poultry citizens, the term free-range is even more blurred as authorities rely on producer testimonials for verification.

Natural Preservatives: The Edible Formalin—Yay or Nay?

Salt, sugar, and vinegar act as the food world’s natural police by arresting bacterial baddies and obnoxious oxides. But when added to manufactured foods, these substances get a much-needed chemical lift, allowing them to preserve the condiment’s freshness for longer periods of time. In this form, so-called “natural preservatives” are like chemical-engineered dietary Robocops in comparison. And so, like their purely artificial cousins, these mutated organic ingredients put scientists on edge: they may carry hazardous effects.

But, their potential hazards are, ultimately, deemed necessary evils in the prevention of microbial spoilage and other evils of gastronomic proportions. Some companies have taken alternative methods in food preservation by lessening the use of these additives with processes like freezing, drying, pickling, and smoking. 

Organic: The Here, There, Everywhere Food Label

Health buffs constantly clamor for the Big O—organic, that is—in their food products, citing its numerous benefits. Yet, recent studies continue to uncover the Hyde-side of the “pristine” Jekyll movement. Organic can actually be an excuse for monopolizing multinationals to cash in on over-priced produce with decreased immune systems (sickly veggies that cost an arm and a leg, in plain English)—which, all the while, possess the same nutritional value as their non-organic counterparts. In fact, the absence of the use of pesticides and chemically engineered manure may make organic crops more susceptible to bacterial baddies such as solanine and e-coli. Now there’s some food for thought!

Reduced/Low/Lite/Lean Fat: The Skinny on the Fatties

In their quest to achieve bodily nirvana, health buffs and weight-loss wannabes choose anything to avoid the fugliest word ever: FAT. But, these anti-fat labels may not be the size zeros that everyone likes to think. Some enterprising companies replace fat with other calorie-laden Willy-Wonka-type ingredients that defeat the whole purpose of keeping the excess pounds away. Sometimes, fat is actually fabulous!

Hydrogenated Oils: Table of Trans-Fats

Hydrogen + Vegetable Oil = Hydrogenated Oil = Trans-fat = ??? of unhealthiness

*The formula for Trans-fats—the Superbad Fat

(Hydrogen) x (the label “Partially”) + Vegetable Oil = Partially Hydrogenated Oil = Hydrogenated Oil = Trans-fat = FatUNHEALTHINESS X 1000000

*Be a smart cookie. Partially hydrogenated oils/hydrogenated oils are really trans-fats in disguise.

(Hydrogen) x (the label “Fully”) + Vegetable Oil = Fully Hydrogenated Oils = [(> 1% trans-fat) – gluttony]sort of healthy

*The exception to trans-fats: foods with fully hydrogenated oils means it carries less than 1% of trans-fats—which is safe to consume, just control your serving portions!