You’re probably still cringing at the memory of last week’s hangover, and we don’t blame you – no one likes waking up not quite sure where they are or how they got there, not to mention having a headache the size of Texas. We also dislike that sinking feeling shortly after waking up that you’ll be spending the better part of the day (or what’s left of it – does the clock really say 5PM?) untagging pictures of yourself on Facebook. Don’t worry though, you don’t have to give up drinking and you can stop testing your luck. Instead of contemplating which excuse or exit you’re going to use on your friends, here are a few tips to being smart about getting drunk:


1.    Ever heard of the phrase “Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, never fear”?  First of all, be wary of advice that rhymes. Secondly, mixing drinks is just a bad idea. Here are the facts: Your body absorbs concentrated amounts of liquor faster, so throwing back those shots and ending the night with a nice cold beer in hand is like starting off at a sprint and ending in a walk. Your body passes the alcohol out faster, and you won’t even notice that you’re getting less drunk!

While carbonated drinks do also help you get drunk faster, it also helps the alcohol stay longer in your system.

For example, if you start off with beer, it layers; throwing a daiquiri or rum-coke on top of it is pretty much turning your stomach into a biological blender and chances are you’re going to regret doing so in the morning.

You’ll probably also want to stay away from darker liquors, because if you stick to the clear ones there’s a chance you’ll have less of a headache in the morning.

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2.    At some point in the night you’re going to have to ask yourself: On a scale of 1 to Homer, how drunk am I? Now it may seem a little harsh to hold your drinking habits up against that of a fictional cartoon character, but the comparison can get pretty accurate. If you’ve had more than a couple of drinks and it’s time to head home, don’t pull a Homer Simpson and have your own D’oh! moment. More so, don’t risk not being able to tell your friends about it. If you’re too drunk to drive and are praning about taking a cab in the wee hours of the morning because (a) it isn’t safe and (b) your parents will wonder where the hell the car is the next morning, there’s a new solution on the city streets: 16911 Driver on Call.

The business is in its early stages, but the premise is simple. You call the number and two highly trained drivers go to you in a Chevrolet Spark; one of them drives you home in your car while the other trails you to make sure everything’s okay, and then they both leave. We understand your apprehension; having a total stranger drive your car seems a little bit awkward, but imagine how much more awkward it would be to have a different stranger peel you off the lamppost you might wrap yourself and your car around. Think about it – don’t risk it. All it’s going to cost you is a little bit more than cab fare.

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3.    We’re going to have to face facts: life’s so much more fun with drunk friends. If a bunch of you are still unwilling to let the night go, feel like ending it in each other’s company, or realize that taking a cab in a group is safer, head on over to Victoria Court, where you (with or without your friends) can sleep off that buzz and sort out all the gritty details of your debauchery in the morning.


Victoria Court’s got a slew of fun themed rooms for you and your friend/s to choose from, like The Matrix, Austin Powers, Moulin Rouge – even X-Men! They’ve got lots of promos and discounts that vary from lifetime privileges for men, women, and LGBT, to one-time use discount cards.


4.    Last but not the least, there’s Last Call. No, no, we don’t mean the bar’s closing and the bartender’s glaring at you for being the last person there. Last Call is an iPhone app that helps you keep track of how many drinks you’ve had as well as calculates your blood alcohol content based on your weight and the alcohol content of the drinks you’ve logged in because, let’s face it, sometimes you’re more drunk than you think you are. If you’re in denial about being sober enough to drive even though said drunken self is staring at your phone with one eye closed, trying to focus, the app also helps you decide what to do next now that you’re smashed, from a button that will call you a cab home to one that will help you find a local lawyer for when you get pulled over from trying to drive home drunk. (Shame on you.)


Best of all, the app is free. You can download it here.

Just remember, pace yourself. The night is young (even if you aren’t anymore) and chances are even if you still don’t remember dafuq happened last night, at least you’ll live ‘til the next weekend to do it all over again.


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