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Hipster Horoscope: Your Forecasts for June 4 to 10, 2012

Posted on June 04, 2012 by Madam Miraj

Juice's resident astrologer, Madam Miraj, picks apart your destiny for this week's hipster horoscopes!

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) – It’s your birthday and you’ll party if you want to, right? Make it a 20’s-themed night, because that decade is roaring right back later this year when everybody sees this. You can say then that you were way ahead of the pack. Don’t forget to thank me.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) – Mind over matter, dear Cancer. Tough, because you didn’t get the most out of summer, but summer doesn’t have to be gone, and you don’t have to fret over the lost season, if you can mix and enjoy these delicious, summery drinks. Cheers!

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) – Look what came out just when you’ve been reminiscing your awkward, dorky high school days? Serendipity, isn’t it? Your assignment: read the book again and geek out just in time for the film.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) – Sure, you like to plan ahead; that’s what people with OCD do. It’s just a couple of weeks before the Virgin Labfest 8 and you want a bunch of your friends to see raw talent before everybody does, naturally. You could do worse than to make this happen.

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Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) – You’re feeling pensive these days, and the downcast skies add to your feeling of introspection. It’s perfectly fine to swim and soak in this feeling once in a while, especially if you have a soundtrack to go with it.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) – Life’s really quite unbearable for TV geeks like you when shows go on summer break. It’s like there’s a huge void in your life that can’t be filled. Thankfully, some channels do it differently and start seasons at this time. Better yet, when they’re shows like this. Ah, life is worth living again!

(Check out: 12 Dishes to Satisfy Your Rainy Day Cravings)

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) – Holy alien, Batman! If this doesn’t make your entire month (if not year), dear UFO-and E.T.-loving Sagittarian, my crystal ball doesn’t know what will.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) – Dear bored Capricorn, while Madam Miraj’s cards do not tell you to waste your entire life in front of the computer, they tell you to check these silly sites out, just to lighten up things a little. They involve small hands, beards, and Steve Buscemi’s eyes. My cards give you permission to LOL.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) – So you’ve recently finished Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 and, being a huge fanboy, you are suffering from a bit of withdrawal. Well, here’s something from your fellow Murakami geek, Gary Snider: a “bingo card” that sums up your entire life as his reader. And it’s available as a poster!

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20) – Of course summer blockbusters don’t appeal to you, movie snob you. So knock yourself out at the 1st SINENG PAMBANSA National Film Festival. It’s your chance to up your Pinoy indie movie cred and get acquainted with some of the most exciting voices in the scene.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) – Although it’s really just the weather which makes you want to stay home and nest just a little, you need an excuse for being such an antisocial. Luckily, a new book that you can truly immerse in, one that creates an entirely new universe for you, has just come out. Who needs people?

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) – The bull-headed in you continue to dwell in a denial world of summer, sunshine and beaches, because that’s how you roll. For you, my crystal ball offers gifts: summer playlist and a summer reading list. Have fun.