1. Christmas carolling just isn't the same without the gently falling snow and smell of cinnamon and pine tress - oh yeah, and proper homes and warm meals for the carollers a.k.a street children.

2. For some, the decimal drop in temperature is all the excuse they need to whip out the scarves, boots, and even turtlenecks. good thing for them, global warming is doing all sorts of funny stuff to the weather, 'cause pretty soon we'll all be needing some winter wear.

3. Ho, ho, ho... there goes your iPhone. Perhaps the would-be victims of the christmas crime rate could try to take comfort in the fact that they've donated to the "Criminals' Families Need Christmas Present Too Foundation" - voluntarily or not.

4. The real three kings this side of the equator are the politicians - and instead of myrrh and frankincense they bear gifts of cold, hard cash. With the elections coming up next year, apply the permanent equation of empty stomachs + abandoned hopes = votes for sale, and it looks like santa's definitely coming to town.

5. "Lechon, lechon, one, two, three (million!) "The guys in the office have definitely experienced the joys of giving firsthand or, rather, of being given to. Whether it's legally-acquired wealth or not - that's just details, baby.

6. For those whose homes are still watery wonder-land, don't fret! Gift baskets containing leptospirosis medication and, you guessed it, more instant noodles, are floating your way right this instant! Just wait 900 days for it to get past customs.

7. Long glittering lines of red brake lights not your idea of christmas decor? Introducing the limited edition Yabang Yuletide license plate. It won't clear traffic for you. but at least you won't be bawal on thursday.

8. If you can't bring yourself to wish your crush a happy new year face-to-face [or feels like greeting cards are such a waste of trees], the most anonymous medium of all can take care of it for you: the world wide web. Go the extra mile and send a couple of onion bulbs for that special someone's Farmville.